Brenda Lorraine Gee: The Quiet Strength Behind a NASCAR Dynasty

From a Racing Family to Racing Royalty

Brenda Lorraine Gee didn’t just marry into NASCAR; she was born into it. Born on January 3, 1954, her world was always intertwined with the smell of gasoline and the sound of powerful engines. Her dad, Robert Gee Sr., was a legendary NASCAR fabricator—a master craftsman who built the very cars that drivers like Dale Earnhardt would race to victory. Growing up in that world with her brothers, Robert Jr. and Jimmy, meant that racing was in her blood. The Gee family was a big deal in the NASCAR community, known for their skill and passion. This upbringing gave Brenda a unique understanding of the sport, a perspective that would define her entire life.

A Love Story in the Fast Lane

It was in this world of speed and steel that Brenda met a fiery, ambitious young driver named Dale Earnhardt. They fell in love, and in 1972, they got married. Life was a whirlwind, lived in the fast lane of Dale Sr.’s skyrocketing career. They soon had two kids, Kelley in 1972 and Dale Jr. in 1974. But the immense pressure of being a rising NASCAR star’s family took its toll. The couple separated and eventually divorced around 1979. Even though the marriage ended, their bond as parents to Kelley and Dale Jr. would link their families forever.

A Fire, and a Heartbreaking Choice

Then, everything changed. A devastating fire destroyed their home, leaving Brenda and her young children with nothing. Facing an impossible situation with no financial support, Brenda had to make a heart-wrenching decision. To give her kids the stability she couldn’t at that moment, she gave custody of Kelley and Dale Jr. to their father. It was a selfless, painful act of a mother wanting the best for her children. While they went to live with Dale Sr., Brenda moved to Virginia to start her life over from scratch. That tough time deeply shaped her children, planting a seed of resilience that would define their own lives and careers.

A New Beginning

In Virginia, Brenda slowly began to put the pieces of her life back together. She found love again, marrying a Norfolk firefighter named Willie Jackson in 1985. They built a stable, happy family life, which included Willie’s daughter, Meredith. Life took another turn when Willie retired, and the family decided to move back to North Carolina. This move brought Brenda back to the heart of the NASCAR world and, most importantly, back into close collaboration with her now-grown children. It was a new chapter, one of reconnection and a shared sense of purpose.

More Than a Mom—A Force at JR Motorsports

The professional environment at JR Motorsports where Brenda worked for 15 years

In 2004, Brenda joined JR Motorsports, the company her son had founded. She wasn’t just given a title; she rolled up her sleeves and became the team’s accounting specialist. For 15 years, she was a crucial part of the organization’s success. Her sharp wit and famously sarcastic sense of humor became a beloved part of the company’s culture as it grew from a small team into a NASCAR Xfinity Series powerhouse that won a championship in 2014. Brenda was never just “the owner’s mom.” She was a dedicated professional who played a key role in the company’s operations, working shoulder-to-shoulder with her children and brothers to build a lasting legacy.

The Unbreakable Bond with Her Children

Through all the ups and downs, Brenda’s relationship with Dale Jr. and Kelley was the cornerstone of her life. Even with the years they spent apart, their bond was unbreakable. She was their quiet source of support, a grounding force behind their public success. “I’m a very, very lucky woman, as I get to interact with my kids almost every day,” she once said. You can feel the pride and love in those words. She wasn’t just proud of what they accomplished on the track; she was proud of the people they became. You can see her influence in their shared values of family, hard work, and humility—the very qualities that have made them so beloved by fans.

The Woman Behind the Legends

Brenda Lorraine Gee’s legacy is so much more than her connection to the Earnhardt name. It’s in her quiet strength, her incredible resilience, and the profound impact she had on her family. Here was a woman who faced down immense adversity and came out stronger, a mother who made the ultimate sacrifice for her kids, and a professional who carved out her own respected place in the tough world of NASCAR. Her role in the success of JR Motorsports and in shaping the lives of Dale Jr. and Kelley says everything about her character. She’s remembered not just as the woman behind the legends, but as a legend in her own right.

A Life Well-Lived

In her later years, Brenda faced her toughest fight: a battle with cancer. She met it with the same quiet courage and grit that had defined her entire life. Surrounded by her family, Brenda Jackson passed away on April 22, 2019, at the age of 65. The flood of love and respect from the NASCAR community showed just how many lives she had touched. Her life, though filled with hardship, was a life truly well-lived—one full of love, family, and a legacy that continues to inspire.

A Son’s Tribute: Dale Jr.’s Letter to His Mom

In a touching 2017 Mother’s Day feature for ESPN, Dale Earnhardt Jr. shared a letter he wrote to his mother. Reading it aloud, with his emotions clear for all to see, he gave everyone a powerful glimpse into their bond and the sacrifices she made.

“Dear Brenda,

I thank God every day that you and Dad brought my sister and me into this world. But, I think back as a 6-year-old kid, you a single mother, us losing everything in a house fire. You gave custody of us two kids to our father, knowing he could provide a promising future.

I remember your 12-hour round trips for your summer visit. I remember your Norfolk apartment floor covered in presents each Christmas.

I’m thankful that we are together today, as I am now older and wiser to appreciate the sacrifices that you made for us. You never failed at making me feel loved. I love you. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.”

This letter does more than just tell a story; it shows the deep love and gratitude her children always had for her and is a powerful reminder of her impact on their lives.

Brenda Lorraine Gee: A Life in NASCAR (Timeline)

Frequently Asked Questions About Brenda Lorraine Gee

1. Who was Brenda Lorraine Gee?

Brenda Lorraine Gee was Dale Earnhardt Sr.’s second wife and the mother of Dale Earnhardt Jr. and Kelley Earnhardt Miller. Born into a NASCAR family, she became a respected accounting specialist at JR Motorsports and is remembered as a strong, resilient figure in the Earnhardt family story.

2. How many children did Brenda have with Dale Earnhardt?

Brenda had two children with Dale Earnhardt Sr.: a daughter, Kelley Earnhardt Miller (born in 1972), and a son, Dale Earnhardt Jr. (born in 1974), both of whom are major figures in NASCAR today.

3. What happened to Brenda after her divorce from Dale Earnhardt?

After their divorce, Brenda faced incredible hardship. A house fire left her financially unable to care for her children, so she made the tough choice to give custody to Dale Sr. She moved to Virginia to rebuild her life and later remarried.

4. Did Brenda work in NASCAR?

Absolutely. Brenda had a 15-year career at JR Motorsports, the company owned by her son, Dale Jr. She joined in 2004 as an accounting specialist and was a valued employee who played a real part in the company’s growth until she passed away in 2019.

5. How did Brenda influence Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s career?

Brenda was a source of quiet strength and constant support for Dale Jr. Her own resilience taught him invaluable life lessons. By being a loving mother and later working for his company, she was a grounding presence that helped him navigate the pressures of his career.

6. When did Brenda pass away?

Brenda passed away on April 22, 2019, at 65, after a courageous battle with cancer.